She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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