Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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