one might say we're banned from that church
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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