is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sorry about my life...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
