It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
