u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think i peed on brittanys purse
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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