my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
