Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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