I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
