Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
