Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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