why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
