Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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