I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize