i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
A+ Viking dick
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize