why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize