Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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