I hate all girls vehemently.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.