Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.

(352): View more from Florida

Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.

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(614): View more from Ohio

just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

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(541): View more from Oregon

So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.

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(256): View more from Alabama

IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.

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(310): View more from California

she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial

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