Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy

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  (323): i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy http://tfl.nu/zhtt
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (892)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

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  (304): I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God." http://tfl.nu/1oy5
  Replies (21) Good night (10482) Bad night (1687)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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  (501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt
  Replies (27) Good night (4626) Bad night (1153)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award

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  (336): i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award http://tfl.nu/t3kf
  Replies (17) Good night (6120) Bad night (1390)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.

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  (226): I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience. http://tfl.nu/aa3x
  Replies (1) Good night (1844) Bad night (1222)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  She still started it.

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  (651): No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister. (1-651): She still started it. http://tfl.nu/h5sx
  Replies (7) Good night (2950) Bad night (1049)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?

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  (970): Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face? http://tfl.nu/5us6
  Replies (3) Good night (1629) Bad night (712)
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  (949): View more from California

  At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

  (714): View more from California

  I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

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  (949): At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup? (714): I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive. http://tfl.nu/dqyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1901) Bad night (620)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.

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  (917): Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator. http://tfl.nu/612t
  Replies (18) Good night (1570) Bad night (663)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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  (704): I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though http://tfl.nu/2ftm
  Replies (2) Good night (952) Bad night (1269)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.

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  (609): she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka. http://tfl.nu/jihr
  Replies (2) Good night (1106) Bad night (600)
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  (619): View more from California

  THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS

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  (619): THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS http://tfl.nu/bchm
  Replies (11) Good night (1615) Bad night (584)
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  (707): View more from California

  I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude

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  (707): I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude http://tfl.nu/pine
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (334)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."

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  (727): they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room." http://tfl.nu/y4b1
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?

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  (407): How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night? http://tfl.nu/3g7c
  Replies (8) Good night (647) Bad night (496)

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