her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
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Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.