when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
