Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
