so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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