Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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