cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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