OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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