Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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