I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
