I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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