white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
