Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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