sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize