pedialite and red bull = repair kit
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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