On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize