bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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