i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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