Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
even my farts smell like vagina
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
