I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
