Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need help removing her.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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