I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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