You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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