I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize