She said her name was "party"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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