Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I sprained my soul last night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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