I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
