After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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