Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
