Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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