Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
