we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
