How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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