I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
