Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm too high and old for this...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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