he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
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Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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