great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Holy shit dude........stairs
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
