talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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