I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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