Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
