He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I love you. Go after that dick
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
