I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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