im drinking this country out of the recession.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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