I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He shit in the fireplace
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize